


Built Composure Wearing Thin

by parabacrybaby



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Birthday, Christmas, Domestic, Domestic Malec, Fluff, M/M, Malec, Malec Fluff, Winter, christmas baby, ugly crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-01 23:36:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10203401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parabacrybaby/pseuds/parabacrybaby
Summary: Magnus gets the best gift of all and ugly cries.





	

**Author's Note:**

> DON'T HATE ME!! i just want more fics from Magnus' POV that isn't him being frisky. Its cute, I promise. 
> 
> Title is from the song only love by pvris. IM BAD AT PICKING TITLES but when you put the title in context it makes more sense.

The gold shimmer of the portal zapped shut behind Magnus as he strode into the foyer of his loft. He lazily shrugged off his forest green and lapis blazer, and with a snap of his fingers, a blue mist surrounded it and dissipated, returning back into his closet on its respective hanger.  He sighed and checked his watch: 11:45pm. 15 minutes until his birthday. Not that it really mattered, only a few people knew his birthday, and he never really celebrated it anyways. So many more birthdays to come, so many birthdays that had passed.

Besides, tomorrow is Christmas, everyone will be with their families, exchanging gifts and joining each other around their dining room tables for dinner. They would all be busy.

 _Why are you even thinking about this? It’s never been that big of a deal to you before._ He thought to himself. _That’s because you never had Alec._

Yes. Alexander. Magnus’ constant surprise, his boyfriend, and quite frankly, Magnus felt safe to say the love of his life (though he would never admit it this early on, or out loud.) Magnus’ whole body was overcome with the warmth of a summer sun at the thought of Alec. Fitting for such a dreary winter, and especially so because he’d be sleeping alone tonight; Alec was on a 36 hour mission and would be gone until the following evening, so Magnus was only left with the thought of Alec, and the feelings that came along with those thoughts.

He shuffled quietly into his kitchen and turned on his electric kettle. He paused and turned to walk over to the cabinet on the other side of the kitchen, scouring its contents until he found it. _Aha,_ he thought.  Gingerly, he ran his fingers over the small clay teapot. This small, brown teapot was one of his oldest and dearest possessions, and one he hadn’t actually used in centuries. He smiled faintly, briefly getting lost in the nostalgia of everything that came with this pot. He had picked it up early on as a young warlock, and for some time it had been one of his only belongings. A tear began to fall down his face, but swiftly Magnus wiped it away with the back of his hand. Magnus returned to the electric kettle and gently placed his teapot next to it. For the next several minutes he searched through various jars of dried herbs, tea leaves, and flowers to concoct a flavor he felt suited the mood. He ended up with peppermint, anise and dried orange peel and tossed it into the teapot, followed by the hot water from his now-screeching kettle. He could just use his magic to do all of this, and normally he does, but since meeting Alec he was reminded the joy, and ultimately, the self-care that came with taking time to do things without the aid of magic. Doing small things like this without his magic had become therapeutic for him.

He grabbed platter and lifted the tea pot onto it, grabbing a mug out of the cupboard on his way into the living room. Magnus placed the platter down onto the coffee table and relaxed into the arm of the couch to face the view of the city from his French doors. He sipped on his tea and watched the snowfall in the night sky, a soft white blanket covering his balcony. Looking down at his watch again, he saw it was officially 12:00am. _Happy Birthday_ , he thought to himself as he slowly began to drift off…..

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus awoke with a jolt. He looked around and noticed he was no longer in his green-and lapis suit, or his gold trimmed loafers, but rather a simple grey t-shirt and pajama pants. Nor was he on his couch facing the balcony, but rather in his bedroom, under a mass of comforters and silk pillows. “ _What did I put in that tea?_ ” he asked aloud.

Bewildered, he got up to head towards his bathroom when he suddenly heard a sound coming from the loft. With a snap of his fingers, he sent a blue rush of magic to his closet and a new outfit appeared on his body: a black thermal, black suede pants, and his gold striped loafers. If he was going to fight whatever or whoever was in his loft, he didn’t want to do it looking like a college kid on a Sunday.

Quietly, he opened his door and stepped out, prowling towards the end of the hallway towards the living room. As he got closer he got he heard someone mumbling in hushed tones, but they were growing louder by the second. Magnus realized that they were headed in his direction. Instinctively he jumped out to confront the intruder.

“AH        - Shit!” Alec screamed, stumbling back before catching himself, resting his hands on his knees. “Magnus, you scared the shit out of me—what? Wow, why are you dressed?” Alec inquired breathlessly as he looked back up at Magnus. “What, you think I’m going to fight someone in sweatpants? Alexander, please…” Magnus rolled his eyes and walked over to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around his torso and planting a brief kiss on his soft, lush lips. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be on a mission, I –“ Magnus looked over Alec’s shoulder to see the answer to his question. His living room was covered in piles, no—mountains, of wrapped gift boxes, sparkly red and green bags stuffed to the brim with tissue paper, swallowing his entire parlor. Presents as big as his coffee table and as small as the ornaments decorating the huge Christmas tree he and Alec had put up last week were packed into this one space. Alec released himself from Magnus’ hold and turned around. “I uh, I wanted to surprise you. I was just coming to wake you up. Happy Birthday, babe.” He whispered into Magnus’ ear, wrapping his arm around Magnus’ shoulders and squeezing him closer.

“Alec, I….” Magnus choked as he stepped forward. Then it happened.

It happened so fast Magnus had no time to even think about what was happening, it was already happening, and he couldn’t stop it. The dam broke. Magnus began shaking violently as tears poured from his eyes. He choked breathless sobs uncontrollably as his hands lifted to cover his face. He heard Alec curse under his breath—no doubt worried. Alec Lightwood probably thought he had broken him, Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, because he had him standing in his own loft hysterically crying at the sight of thousands of presents for him. They were happy sobs, but he couldn’t stop long enough to let Alec know that. Instead, Alec had moved towards him, wrapping himself protectively around Magnus, kissing the top of his head softly and whispering into his hair. “Shhh, shh Magnus it’s okay. I’m sorry, shhhh, shhh.” He assured, rubbing his hands across Magnus’ back.  They stood like this; Magnus’ sobbing uncontrollably into Alec, and Alec kissing and trying to sooth his boyfriend, for what seemed like ages, until Magnus finally had calmed down enough and was taking deep breaths, his head still buried in Alec’s chest.

“I-- I’m sorry.” Alec stuttered. Magnus could hear that his breath was ragged and short, like he had also been crying or was about to.

“No, darling, don’t apologize.” Magnus finally replied as he stepped back to gaze up at his boyfriend. The glamour had faded over his eyes, but he knew Alec had seen his cat eyes before. Funny, he was fine with Alec seeing him without his glamour, but having him witness Magnus Bane ugly cry in the middle of his living room? That was embarrassing and unacceptable.

 “I just…I’ve never had a partner give me a gift for my birthday. Or Christmas. Let alone this many—,“ he motioned his hands out towards the landscape of presents behind Alec.  “No one has ever been this good to me before. I didn’t even know you knew my birthday.” Magnus’ voice was hoarse after crying for so long, but also soft and purring.

“I didn’t, originally, until a couple weeks ago.” Alec placed his hands behind his back and rolled on the balls of his feet, a smirk struggling to form on his face. He was obviously proud of himself now that he realized he hadn’t just ruined their relationship. “Your file had popped up on the screen for database updating and I noticed it said your birthday was in December, so I did a little investigating.” Magnus cocked his head slightly and inquisitively to indicate for Alec to continue. “So I decided to surprise you. I knew I was going to need some help, someone you trusted who could help me with gifts and decorating and what have you,” Alec paused and grabbed Magnus’ hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of Magnus’ hand. “I tried going to Raphael first, but, he’s still not too happy with me, which I understand and respect, so I asked him where I could find Catarina,” Alec explained.

“And?” Magnus inserted.

“And…he sent me to Simon,” Alec chuckled. “So I went to Simon and he told me where I could find Catarina. She helped me shop for you, and helped with the wrapping, as well as getting you into bed when we found you on the couch.”

“Couldn’t you have just looked up her file?” Magnus asked. He was baffled by all the effort Alec had went through, and how shocked Catarina must have been to have this strange Shadowhunter show up on her doorstep. _I’ll have to thank her tomorrow._ Magnus thought.

“Hmm… I didn’t think of that.” Alec scratched at his stubbly chin; he had clearly been up all night orchestrating this whole getup. Magnus’ stomach filled with butterflies at the notion Alec had been working on this for weeks for him.

A huge smile stretched across Magnus’ face. He slammed into Alec, their lips meeting in a passionate frenzy of warm kisses and giggles. Alec broke away and smiled, his hazel eyes hard and unwavering as he looked at Magnus.

 “Listen, I don’t like many things. Or people. But,” he sighed, clearly trying to figure out how he wanted to word whatever he was about to say. “I like _you_. I _love_ you. And I just want to do my best to give you everything you deserve Magnus. You deserve the world.” Alec’s cheeks turned a sheet of magenta as he bashfully grinned and stared into Magnus’ eyes.

“Oh, Alexander…you _are_ my world.” He replied merrily.

**Author's Note:**

> I made Magnus a Christmas baby since he was born in December. Plus, he's totally a Capricorn sun so....


End file.
